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[
Aug 22 2009 ♥ 1:03am] |
i always get the urge to write, but rarely ever do. i had to write this down somewhere. i LOVE it:
"all she knew was that in his arms she felt content, and that was a new emotion for her. in their time together he'd taught her things it would have taken her years to discover by herself. more importantly, he'd shown her what making love was. his bed had become her port; his arms her life ring. when she kissed him and let him touch her with an unimaginable intimacy, she forgot that she didn't believe in love. her first time, back in those dark woods, faded from her memory a little more each day, until one day she discovered that she no longer carried it around inside of her. it would always be a part of her, a scar on her soul, but like all scars, it faded in time from a bright and burning red to a slim, silvery line that could only sometimes be seen. but even with all that. with all that he'd shown and given her, it was beginning not to be enough..."
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[
Jun 8 2009 ♥ 10:40pm] |
hmm. it's funny, the only reason i enjoy writing in here is mainly because i enjoy looking back and reading what i wrote months later. and the only reason i ever stop is when the wrong people find out the wrong things and it gets to me. scary to say, a lot has changed.
catching up isn't much my thing to do. i'm not good at it anyway so let's skip to the present. nine months later. my first year at college went well. i surprisingly did REALLY well with my grades and what not. go figure i did join a sorority, delta gamma. it's fine. summer has arrived and i have nothing much to show for it. but when keri has summer things will change.
i feel like i don't know my friends from high school anymore. i mean.. i actually don't at all. i mean not erin or liam, but the people in my grade. those who went off to college have come and gone. sad to say, but.
ugh i keep wanting to just close this page. i have too much and yet too little to say.
zeeno turned out to be a bust, yet needless to say things are still .. playing out. not really though. this is the first time i've seen him since school ended, but a day visit turned into a weekend stay.
i went to see him saturday and came home today. he moved out of ekele's and went to a new apartment which is really nice actually. his room is small but the house it really big and nice. it was fun but we really didn't do much at all. the first day the boys went food shopping and then frankee and zeeno cooked some nigerian food, but it took them literally all day. so finally after four hours of cooking, around 10pm, we ate - needless to say it was delicious. then we brought frankee home and stayed up only a bit longer because it was already quite late when we got back to his apartment. the next morning we slept in, as usual with him. when we finally woke up around 2pm, he convinced me - more like dragged me - to one of his friend's graduation parties. first we went to pick up ekele though and ended up staying at his place for an hour because he wasn't even ready when we got there. so we showed up and only stayed for less than an hour because it was a very quite family oriented party, which i liked but was totally awkward for us to stay. so we dropped ekele back home and then we went back to the apartment and while i napped, zeeno helped his landlord set up a cable box or something. then we went and grabbed wendy's and on the way back to the house he said i should stay over again. so we watched a movie, with an actually really nice intermission - though the flick turned out to be pretty lame. then we just laid talking for a few hours since there was really nothing else to do especially since all the asians had already gone to sleep. we went to bed early and woke up fairly early on zeeno time. we spent the morning just laying around and then when we finally got ourselves up i headed home.
came home and went to get my toes done with keri ash and erin. then i had to redo all my nails because zeeno said they were too long and literally bit, then scissored two of them off. but they actually turned out cuter than they had been so. it worked out.
i figured i'd miss him more and i really don't that much. he always gets to me though and that's what kills me. i thought i didn't care and was doing fine until i saw him this weekend. i knew it was a stupid idea to even go because now i'm back to thinking too much. i don't even care for him really. he's great but i can't stand him at the same time. if things had worked differently, god i would've loved it. and there's no denying that, which is why i can't stand him.
and this is why i don't write in this anymore. i talk about stupid things. funny though..
i currently weigh 109 pounds. i was 115 at one point last semester, and kept a steady 112 until very recently - voluntarily... on purpose even. i refuse to say what snapped me out of it but it kills that the reasoning was such a waste.
anyway, i'm better. and things are really beginning to change.
..i believe for the better.
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[
Sep 22 2008 ♥ 1:06pm] |
so i don't know. things have been pretty good lately i guess.
wasn't going to come home this weekend but both my roommates were leaving so. thursday i hung around for a while and then my friend came over. we drove around for a bit then finally made our way to the diner. we were looking for friendly's but my gps randomly told us we were there in the middle of this huge main road and it was no where to be found. so we ate then went back to the dorm and i grabbed some things and then we got coffee quick...drove around a bit more...and then finally headed home around 12am. got there around 1:30am and just passed out.
friday was fun! er, lee, d, and ash came over and the six of us [ker was with us too] hung out all day trying to figure something to do. we ended up deciding on doing our scavenger hunt but then we moved it to a treasure hunt so we wouldn't have to drive around town and could just use the neighborhood, but then we got lazy and ended up just hanging out. while keri and ash went and did their own thing, the four of us went to bugerking. we let deej drive there and liam drive home...it was scary. me and erin sort of were fearing for our lives. HA
so then after liam and d left erin and ash slept over and we made this dance routine which was kind cute actually...keri and ashley were like super intense about it though. which was pretty funny. but it was cute. then HA me and er totally dominated them in the most bootleg drinking games. we played beer pong with an assortment of different sized plastic kitchen cups on a tiny square table that we put in the middle and you had to just stand on the ends of the room far away. then we played flip cup with bitch wine. the only reason we played with it was because it was actually called bitch. SO neat. but i can't tell you how many games we played of that AFTER the games of beer pong. me and erin won every time except once...we're nasty.
so saturday i went to the movies with my mommy, mary, and keri and then we went to lunch. we saw lakeview terrace and it was kinda awkward because it was the "interracial" couple deal..and i don't know. dj is all about that i guess like making it a "because i'm black" thing. it makes thing really weird at times. they asked me if it changed my opinion on interracial couples...what was i supposed to say? yes? whatever. it was a pretty good movie though. the ending was kinda weird. whatevs.
so when we got home keri and liam and i went to shoprite and picked up some things for that night. we got home and started cooking! it was actually a really fun night. and it was either going to be terrible or great and it turned out for the better!! everyone made a part of this meal we were putting together. we decided to be weirdos and have a dinner party basically. so dj brought cheese and crackers and liam made french onion soup which we had for our appetizers. then devin made salad which followed. then i made chicken and keri made fried rice which we ended up tossing together and making a huge bowl of for the meal part. then erin made these amazing cupcakes and devin made brownies too!
we ate in the dining room with like dim lighting, candles, and low sophisticated oldies background music..it was just really funny. but it was cute! so after we cleaned everything up we played catch phrase ... which is like the best game to play with liam. HAHAH and then i took dj home. after, more cupcakes and catch phrase. hah so that was basically the night. i had soooo many cupcakes. they were amamzing. YAY ER!
so yesterday i got lunch with my d and liam. we went to subway and then went to sing at mass without terri again. we sounded even worse this week than last week...but it's whatever! hah i don't mind. then after i went to the warwick creamery with deej. it was alright i guess...over priced, too far away, and nothing super special. but it was fine. it was fun, his family was there before us and they were about to leave when we pulled in so i got to see fe and his mommy and grandma so that was nice. so i dropped him off after and then came home.
went back out around ten and came home around two...in a fuzz. it was fun, but whatever. probably bad...i only had three but still. it's funny how i do more at home than at school. no. it's sad actually. my school is pathetic. whatever, i guess it's good for me! anyway. now i'm just sitting. i've been feeling sick all day, not sure why.
michael and i have started talking again i think. i mean we are...but i'm nervous about it. i don't know what he thinks. i mean i'm happy about it. just still nervous. i'm not sure what it's going to end up as, but we'll see. fingers crossed...for later i guess???
going back tonight i think. don't feel like waking up early tomorrow morning. i don't know. i'll figure it out. i think me and steph missed rushing. probably better that way because i don't think i would've ended up liking being in a sorority. - probably not my thing. HA.
aijhoiajergojaerg.
yeah.
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[
Sep 18 2008 ♥ 4:52pm] |
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even if you think the flame has died, there's at least one lyric that'll hit that last hot spot, and then you'll find yourself as fucked as you were the day you lied and said you never wanted to see him again.
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[
Sep 16 2008 ♥ 11:19pm] |
michael texted me today to let me know the money order i sent finally went through, fucking like three months later, and that my four hundred dollars didn't disappear- just went to shit. and who is to blame?
me.
it makes me nervous that i still think about him. for some reason, i thought he had texted me "get the money and order today. thanks" meaning like come see me and my heart literally jumped out my throat. HA, i was pretty far off though. whatever. it's my fault anyway. i can't complain.
i want to though..cause he's been on my brain lately.
sucks for me.
ugh.
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[
Sep 15 2008 ♥ 10:11pm] |
so...i stopped writing that previous entry before i told about thursday. i just felt like stopping there would be alright.
but to pick up where i left off. thursday when i got home i waited for my mom and then told her what happened. she was pissed, basically just really worried about me. she didn't ground me or anything which was awesome, but she was really upset. i felt bad. but i went and got dj from school and we got ice cream and then went back home and i forget what we did. i think we played video games and watched a movie or something like that but then later we went to cafe gelati to see his friend's play...it was alright i guess? keri came because kyle was going to be there and erin and lee came too which was wonderful!!! LOVE them, miss them terribly. boo. saw pj- haven't seen him in foreverrrr. all in all, it was fine i guess. favorite part was seeing elk
then friday i was pretty stupid. i went to the skinner's house and they were having a mini-party. and at first the thought of even seeing alcohol made me want to vomit but once dj was about five shots in and i hadn't even had one...i decide i would be alright in moderation. i was just nervous but i figured if i didn't get back in the game quick, i might never. so what the hell. it was stupid being that i has justttt gotten over being "hung over" from the day before. i had six shots, got wasted. it was fun though. and kia drove me home with deej and this other kid who followed her in my car since the two of them were sober. very nice of her. and i lovedddd seeing kevyn. however, my dad was pretty pissed when i got home because i had lost track of time and it was really late and he knew i was smashed. bad move on my part. whatever.
so saturday deej came over. we went to lee and the went to the diner and after we got keri and went to the cheese festival for like..a little bit cause it was pretty beat. we left and went to eckerds and i almost got into a fight with some little girl cause i jumped on dj and hugged him and like popped the back of my leg and she walks by and goes "slut" and then i turn and was like "REALLY?!!" and she was like "...not you!!" and booked it to her friends. maybe she wasn't talking to me...maybe she was. either way, i feel terrible about it now. deej says he's turning me ghetto. i think he is because i NEVER would've have done that otherwise. haha so then we went home and met up with erin and we watched baby mama which was way cute! then er, lee, kelly, and i went to see terri in pippin. it was ... i mean ... well. ha. terri was amazing in it. i didn't so much like the show, but terri was wonderful. and so was the little boy for the fraction of a second he sang at the end. ha oh well.
sunday i went on a lunch date with lee. subway then dunkin donuts, which i haven't done in forever and is a combo i totally missed. i love the guy who works there because he always remembers me. he even asked how school was and all that. so sweet. then we went to church and sang with out terri. it wasn't as bad as it was last time. it was pretty good for not having any instrumentals. some guy told us, "30 years in the church and you were the best group i've ever heard" ...obviously probably lying, they felt bad for us. oh well.
today i was with dj all day. my grandparents came over because my parents went away for a few days somewhere. and now that i think about it..we played video games ALL day. pretty pathetic. hah, then we went and picked keri up from soccer and then we came back, had dinner with everyone, and then we all did homework. well dj did his while i helped ryan. and then i took him home. it sounds uneventful, but it really wasn't.
tomorrow i have to go back to school unfortunately. i guess it's not that bad i just.. i hate leaving home.
*sigh*
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[
Sep 12 2008 ♥ 11:31am] |
oh my god.
i have so much to say and so little energy or patience to write it. these past few days have been ridiculous. i don't even know where to start. school is going well, i'm figuring ways to get all my work done on time and in small doses which is nice and i'm adjusting to living at school quite well even though i'm hardly ever there.
spent last weekend in hoboken, and went into the city which was fun. we didn't go to the club/bar because we wanted to catch an 11pm train back to the city so we didn't get stabbed on the subway =] i went homehome sunday morning and left tuesday morning- i don't remember what i did those days. i know i saw deej and got my nails done with keri. when i went back to school tuesday morning i got stuck in so much traffic and almost missed my first class! but it was good. um and then wednesday i had to go take these two research study surveys for credits in my psychology class and i went with eddie which was fine. and class wednesday night was long and painful but only because it's so easy and slow paced so i cannot complain at all. love it! and i have steph in that class with me so it's good.
so wednesday night...shit. okay when i got back from class monica, melinda, and i decided we needed some bonding time and that we were going to go paint bricks. ha weird right? it was this little arts and crafts thing they had in the lounge and we desperately needed a new door stop so. however, after i had agreed to that dorothy came knocking on the door and invited me to go out with her and the girls. at first i wasn't going to but i went next door [to her room] and they were drinkingggg. so i was like mmm i'm in! so i had two shots and then went to paint my brick with my roomies. it was fun, i think because i was a bit fuzzy- only because i hadn't eaten anything. anyway- went back into d's room..
danielle, alicia, sam, ashley, d, and i all were just getting wrecked. i usually am a retard after six or seven shots so i took two more with d and then went and took like four with danielle, switching cups. after my fourth shot with my new glass i asked danielle why my shot glass was taller and she informed me that mine were freaking doubles. so instead of having the eight shots i had planned on being smashed from, i really had twelve! i think i would've been fine had i had my own bathroom.
we called up a taxi and while we were driving there everything hit me...i was a mess. we went to this karaoke bar and i don't remember much of it. i couldn't even walk. i remember trying to find d and getting totally lost inside and i remember someone walking me to the car and i went home with ashley, dorothy, and two girls i didn't know at all. apparently they were older and d knew them, so they took us home. d threw up all over me in the car because she was in the middle and couldn't get to the window. thank god i was blacked out the whole time because had i know that...i probably would've thrown myself out of the moving car. i HATE throwing up and i know i couldn't deal with it on or near me.
so somehow we got back to the dorms and i don't remember how but i got into the bathroom and just threw up. for so long, i couldn't stop. i don't remember any of it. apparently a few girls found because ashley and d -who are my neighbors in the dorm- had gone inside and passed out, my room was one room down but i never made it because the bathroom is across the hall so i guess i hit that up first. anyway, a few girls were taking care of me and they got my roommate who came in to help and they couldn't get me to stop so eventually another girl came in to brush her teeth and suggested getting an RA. of course it was the hot black RA on duty... ugh
whatever so he helped me outside- i don't even remember him being there. they called the ambulance and i went to the hospital - none of which i remember. i remember being there for a bit they stuck me with so many needles. i was just blacked out the whole time. i remember tiny bits of everything, but nothing substantial. i remember them telling me my veins sucked and they tried so many times getting an IV in and i was just bawling. i hate needles as it is. i can't remember much else that happened...except for the shots.
the next morning the nurse who i had been with all night who i remember because she was so sweet and funny woke me up to take some vitals. i remember her telling me that she was afraid i would be a brat but was glad that i was so cute...that made me feel better. i liked her. i wish i got to thank her before she left. anyway, another nurse came in and she got me up and gave me my clothes and made me sign some forms and stuff. i just sat crying for a while because i was still drunk and i had literally nothing. no bag, no money, no phone, no cards, no nothing. i put my clothes from the other night back on and realized the vomit stains all over them which i thought were mine...which was gross enough. my school had gotten me a cab and given me a voucher to use for it, so i waited for that.
the guy in the cab was really nice too. matter of fact, everyone was really nice. everyone in that town pretty much is really nice. we chatted the whole ride home and it kept me from crying even more. he dropped me at the health office because i had to go in and talk with them. they told me that i got to keep my scholarship and enrollment in the school, which honestly i think is SO awesome. and no disciplinary actions were taken at all, except they're making me meet with a few different counselors to "diagnose" me. whatever, i can deal with that. i'm just really glad nothing bad happened. they didn't even tell my parents- school or hospital.
so finally i headed back to my dorm. luckily the front door was open because i had no keys, but i couldn't get into my actual room. i went into the lounge on the computer and for whatever reason d was online. we IMed each other saying "what the fuck happened last night" and "i have no idea". she asked where i was and i told her in the lounge and how i was locked out and she told me to go to her room so we sat and talked for a bit trying to figure things out. she asked why i wasn't in my room and i told her i didn't want to wake my roommates...HA so she went and did it. but then i walk in and my bed is on the floor! apparently they had moved it down from the loft so i could get into it easily the night before - how sweet!
i just collapsed on my bed, it felt so good to lie down on my own sheets with no needles in me and a semi conscious-cleared head. my roommates told me and d everything that had happened. from my head literally being in the toilet and the girls trying to get me into a shower, to me crying hysterically while talking to the cops...it was pretty ridiculous to hear all the blanks being filled in along with pieces i never knew existed. i didn't even shower i was so upset. the girls help me put my bed back up and then i grabbed a few things and went home. i skipped all my classes and just went home. it was all i could think about.
home.
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[
Sep 4 2008 ♥ 1:05am] |
so i can't sleep. it might have been the two massive cappuccinos i had this afternoon and tonight, but coffee usually never has any impact on my sleeping habits. either way, i decided to spare myself the boredom of just laying in bed playing with the crumbly ceiling and the pain of waking up at 5:45am- so i went and took a shower which now allows me one extra hour of sleep tomorrow morning...much better.
today was pretty uneventful. i woke up around ten and then showered and met virmala for coffee. she came back to the dorm for a bit and we fussed with the lap top/adelphi website and chatted with melinda for a while. after she left for class i attempted to finish my homework and got a good amount done, but not all of it. then i went to class and then came back and did some more work before going to post to get something to eat because i was starving- having not eaten anything all day but the two cappuccinos. i got a nugo-bar and a interesting type of yogurt and, upon returning to my dorm, realized that i had no spoon. the bar was pretty good and i guess i will determine how the yogurt is tomorrow sometime.
i probably should save it and i can eat it with a salad for dinner... i need to eat something tomorrow because we have big plans for the weekend. well, hopefully anyway.
this is how awfully bored i am, i'm writing about food and my homework. shit
i'm not even freaking tired. and of course this, along with the rest of this weekend, will all catch up with me next tuesday at 6am.
sigh.
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[
Sep 3 2008 ♥ 10:09am] |
so monday i was supposed to go back to school.
ended up hanging out all day. did nothing all morning except some homework. then dj came over and i beat him in just about everything we did. guitar hero, tony hawk, wii sports...ridiculous. then we started watching a movie but my mom and mary challenged us to a game of scene it. it was fun! dj is really good with my parents for whatever reason and they like him, so i'm glad. then it was time for dinner so we had a bbq with my family which was fine. and then my mom was like oh you know you can stay here another night and just leave for school tomorrow. and i thought that was brilliant, because i was sure as hell not ready to leave. so we ate and then i played some soccer with keri and deej. kyle came over and then we just all sat around doing nothing really. talking and watching stupid youtube videos. then i had to bring kyle and dj home and that was that.
so yesterday morning i woke up nice and early showered and drove down here. the traffic wasn't even bad! it was great because i got here really quickly so had about an hour before class and since i was already ready from waking up so early at home, i napped =] then um, i went to all my classes and came home and literally did homework all day. i got out of lab 1 hour and 10 minutes early, so from like 3pm-8pm just homework. it sucked! then i took a break to chat with lee on cameras, which i always love. and then andy asked me to hang out so it was a nice break.
we went to see babylon ad and i can't decide if i liked it or not. i mean it was a pretty intense movie and it was really religious based, which was cool. i just hated like the last two lines. it was like such a good scene right before the last and then it's freaking vin diesel like "hey kids..." and him with kids just never works in my mind. then they're like "okay dad" end. SO stupid. but whatever, i guess it was overall a good movie.
so that was my day..back at school..mmm.
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[
Sep 1 2008 ♥ 12:24am] |
so today was fine. i woke up late...
but managed to make it on time to go to church. i really love the skinner's church. even though it's wayyyy long...i feel like i get so much out of it. more than when i go to mine even. and they were asking who wanted to become members today. i almost marched right up there but i figured i would spare my mother the heart attack. but it is so weird because every time i go there i feel like the pastor is talking directly to me, about me, for me. and today i felt like that a LOT and it was so weird because he said if you were feeling like that like oh he's talking about me that it wasn't him, it was god talking through him. like the holy spirit. it's crazy because i actually feel like god is REAL there. like alive almost. how weird is that? i love it.
i feel like i get more out of there masses than i ever have at our church. the only issue i have is the speaking in tongues and how they fall on the floor and seize and scream and cry and stuff like that. it kind of creeps me out. i mean it's nice to an extent.. but sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable. so i'm still debating. plus i'm like one of four white people who go. not that that matters... i'm just saying. and today his pastor talked to me when he asked for the guests. he got me to stand up only because he made everyone else sit down. trickster. but he made me feel so comfortable and was like oh i know her, i mess with her all the time. he's just so nice! and ... i love it.
but anyway. enough of that. after church i came home and made dinner for the family and they all really liked it which was awesome. because i was starting to think it would suck being that the sauce was really sweet and tangy and i had no recipe to work from...i just threw some things together and it turned out to be really good! i made chicken with peppers, onions, string beans, and pineapple all marinated in this hawaiian sauce with garlic powder and then rice. so it sounds kinda gross but actually tasted really good. so i was proud of myself =]
then tonight i went to the movies with erin, lee, ker, and ashley and then a few of their weird friends...it wasn't that bad though. i had fun because i love elk. duh! and i'm really going to miss them. i hate saying bye to them. i feel like it's one of those movies where they don't say goodbye to avoid heart break but..then it never works. *sigh* i'm already homesick and i'm literally still laying in my bed.
i should be doing homework.
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[
Aug 31 2008 ♥ 12:25am] |
so school is going a lot better than i originally thought. i mean the work load kind of sucks but it's no big, for now. i like all my classes and i like all my teachers so it's nice.
i haven't written in like a week so i feel like i should have so much to say but i really don't. i'm home for the weekend though which is really nice. i got to see elk and dj and my family and i missed them all.
yesterday i went to the car wash with liam which really was quite exciting. except for when he opened my window....and then we went to shoprite and he carried my bags for me - what a doll! then we had to go home for dinner, but later that night we all went to the castle. i went on the go karts and went lazer tagging with keri, kyle, erin, lee, and deej. then we went to the chester diner and of course...made a scene. ha love it.
today i went to the city with my family and had lunch with the minicucci's which was awesome =] love them. and i loved it because as soon as we walked in - to this really nice italian restaurant - my dad walks up to the bar and taps my elbow and says, "okay so what do you want?" ahhh. so nice. i had this peach blush thing? sounds so gay but it was amazinggggly good. i had like three hahah. and the waiters were flirting with me and ker the whole time. it was really funny. after lunch we went to this candy store which was cool and then we went home. i love my cousins. i really do. i'm so glad i live so close to them now [well when i'm at school] i just hope i get to see them more.
then i went to walmart with my dad which i know sounds weird but it was actually sort of nice. like quality time. i feel like i've gotten so much closer with both my parents after having been away for the week. it's weird. the day i came home my mom hugged me and just started crying. she keeps saying how much i've matured just in one week because i keep offering to help her out with stuff and do things for her and stuff. i'm not even meaning to be extra nice but i think it's just happening because i know i'm leaving again soon.. *sigh*
so tonight i was supposed to see dj but he had this barbeque to go to so i figured he wouldn't be home in time and then planned on hanging out with lee. but when dj invited me to the movies i figured i would tell liam to come too, however he wasn't having any of that. i wanted to kick him in the face! not really but i did want to see him. again...however, i can't blame him for not wanting to go. it was going to be me, him, dj, and three of dj's ghetto friends. we figured it was going to be awful. and the movie was!
but the night wasn't as bad as i thought. his friends were REALLY ghetto though. it was kinda cool actually hahah. there was dj, dj, cj, and frankie. hah after the movie we went to the bowling place and played in the arcades and then they all freaked out when i thought i was letting dj drive home. they're really funny. when they asked what my name was i said kristin and the other dj said "well i'ma call you k" and then cj was like "well whats yo last name?" and i was like ... and frankie goes "skinna?!" and i laughed and they said "okay ks, ks. you ks" and then started calling me kiss. it was funny, but i guess you had to be there.
so it was an interesting car ride home, but i ended up having fun - even though the movie was pretty stupid. there were some really hot girls in it though...weird. ANYWAY. i have to wake up early for church tomorrow so i should probably get some sleep. i almost sort of miss being at school. SORT of, like small fractions of decimal amounts..
and i guess i had more to say than i thought.
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[
Aug 24 2008 ♥ 11:30pm] |
how ironic. i said i hadn't talked to michael and then i did. also, while doing what i said i hadn't, i told him hadn't drank yet and then i did. keeping the trend.
i had my first college experience last night, my second night here. it was wonderful. i got shit faced and didn't get in until like 4am. don't remember half of the things that went down but this is what i can recall - i think in chronological order. first, obviously, i was hanging out with the girls. shannon, rachel, monica, robyn and i went to get coffee in the morning and ended up talking all afternoon. then we hung out in the dorm for a bit and later on met up again to watch a few movies and we ordered some dominos. after that i went back to the dorm and that was when the night really started.
okorie asked me to hang out so i went to his place and we started drinking. it was fun- we just listened to his cool music and watched this movie and he told me all about africa and showed me the statues he had and weird stuff like that. after a while i decided i should head back to the room. but ended up getting back and being terribly awake and jittery. so i went for a walk with joe and that was cool... he enjoyed how retarded i was hah. then we met up with dorothy who had been walking with this other kid and so we started walking with her for a bit and just headed back to linen. when we got back i went to chill with dorothy, elysia, ashley, and danielle- all of whom were also tanked, so that was fun. then i finally got back to my room but when okorie texted me i got antsy again and wanted to be back out doing something so i went back to see him and we drank even more! it was crazy, by the time i got home i was so beat. i just passed out and that was the end of my first drunken college experience. very exciting.
today i woke up late and went for lunch with monica and priscille and then we walked around campus trying to find where our classes were. after that we went back to the dorm and played guitar hero which was awesome. then we just hung around for a bit until we decided to go meet up with shannon, rachel, brittney, and the other rachel. we all hung out talking for a bit and then made our way to the lounge. there i met this guy t. he was really nice and his real name is obviously not t but his name was ridiculously hard to say, so it was decided that t worked just fine hah. he is haitian and actually from haiti - so cool! then dorothy, elysia, and danielle showed up and i talked to them for a bit before we decided to go check out post and more of the campus and made our way into town for some dinner. we brought subway back to the room and watched the olympics for a while and then met this guy named angel who seemed really nice. then i came home and finally got to talk to dj for a little bit.
i miss erin and liam and of course dj terribly and i was so excited to go home this weekend but now michael said i could still go to denver. but i don't know..i mean i would love to because he seems really chill now with things he wasn't cool with before and i think it would be a lot of fun to see him, but i just don't want to go for the wrong reasons. and how could i not return home to my shp loves?! and my family of course. i don't think i'd make it another week without seeing them, but i haven't seen michael and probably won't see him anytime soon if i don't go. but i don't know, it's probably a bad idea anyway. ahhh so difficult. and carlos randomly texted me and wants to go to the city for dinner tomorrow night..i don't think so.
we'll see!
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[
Aug 22 2008 ♥ 11:34pm] |
oh my god college.
i got here and was impressed because my dorm was so much better than the one i stayed in for orientation. i got the bed i wanted and all the space i wanted under and we rearranged the furniture to get the most space possible in the room. and it looks awesome- girls from other rooms were coming in to copy how we made ours. so neat!
so my internet wasn't working when i first got here. for the whole first day actually which consisted of me just moving in and hanging around trying to get the damn thing to work and when i finally gave up andy came to visit. it was cool to finally meet him. he took me to the roosevelt field mall, which is hugeeee and then we went to the boardwalk/beach and sat on the bench watching everything. then i went back to the room for a while and met back up with him to take a walk around campus and avoid being shot with the sprinklers.
today started off kind of lame because we had a matriculation ceremony and it was sort of long and boring and i didn't really know anyone there. after we had were sent off to our first class to talk about the book we were supposed to read and hand in the essay we were to have written. i read the book but didn't write the essay and we ended up only having class for a half hour instead of one and a half hours, and we only talked about the book for like five minutes total including barely any detail at all, AND we don't have to turn our papers in until thursday. so that was awesome
so to top off that wonderful news, i got back to the dorm to find my internet working! so happy. i would've died without it. i'm so glad they fixed it. so i chatted with liam on cameras for a bit which was quite and experience and i even got to talk to er! not on cameras, but it's coming. haha so then monica and i -one of my roommates, both of whom i think are really sweet- went over to waldo's dorm to rachel and brittney's room. we hung out in there for a bit and then we ended up with alexis in her solo triple room with the her, brittney, rachel, the other rachel, shannon, monica, and myself. so we talked for a bit and then rachel, shannon, monica and i headed back to our dorm for icecream. i saw adam on the way downstairs and he was so sweet! he gave me a hug and asked how things were and made fun of me for being a freshman and he is just such a doll [he was my orientation leader] so we grabbed some stuff from the lounge and went to hang out in our room.
we talked for a bit and then orokie texted me and told me to come and meet him because he was outside the dorm. so i went and met him and actually didn't even recognize him from the pictures on facebook but he got up and gave me a hug which helped me pick him out hah. i met a few of his friends who were hanging outside with him and they seemed pretty chill even though they were all juniors and seniors. then he suggested going for a walk so we circled the campus once and talked and he has the freaking coolest accent ever. he's african from nigeria i believe he said and it was just so awesome listening to him talk. but then i went back inside and hung out with the girls in my room some more.
then joe texted me and he wanted to meet too! so i just told him to come downstairs because by that time dorothy had come in our room too and we were all just hanging out and i didn't want to leave again so he came downstairs and hung out with us for a bit. then everyone left and things settled down. i finally got to talk to dj! he really..has me going nuts. i miss him so muchhhh and can't wait to get home to see him and fe and elk and ahh. i just can't wait to see them.
so i'm really excited that college isn't going as awfully as i thought it would be and i'm actually sort of excited for the rest of the year- but let's not push it. sleeping late tomorrow is going to be nice- hopefully that will work out. and michael and i haven't spoken...
how's that for you?
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[
Aug 17 2008 ♥ 12:03am] |
so today was supposed to be the day where i sat in my room and wrote my essay that i need for school in like four days and have not yet started...and it didn't happen. HA
i ended up going to this rope swing lake place in warwick with keri, mikey, and deej. it was fun i guess but while freaking hiking forever to get to the stupid little spot i tanked it and cut my knee and leg and foot up. of course it was the other side and now i have two stupid feet =[ so not cute. that sucked and hurt a whole bunch. haha whatevs. so then we got there and i ended up not even doing the rope swing because it looked SO unsafe. it was the sketchiest place ever but it was really pretty. then we were just going to go swimming in the lake but i ended up not doing that either- so basically it was pointless haha.
we left pretty quick though and went to go to this really good ice cream place instead that was down the road but there was a line out the door so our whole adventure to warwick consisted of pretty much nothing aside from dj and keri swimming and mike rope swinging. oh well, it turned out fine because we decided to go to fridays and we got sooo much food. and it was cute because the boys got the same exact thing and so did the girls. they got jack daniel's burgers and shirley temples and we got chicken and shrimp with water. so we were totally twins! so neat.
then we came back to the house and watched step brothers on my laptop but my living room currently has no furniture in it because my dad was cleaning the rug so we put a bunch of pillows and blankets on the floor and were all just chillen. ha reallllllll cool =P then we watched scary movie after and then just hung out for a bit before i had to drop dj off. we stopped at the park first for a little bit and that was fine, but the grass there is always wet! except the creepy guy didn't come outside this time so that was a nice change. heh
so i have to get up early tomorrow. and i still REALLLLLY don't want to go to school =/
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[
Aug 16 2008 ♥ 12:42am] |
so much has happened i don't know where to start.
saturday elk went to this church outing with the skinner. it was so much fun! there was like a beach and this really cute picnic area and playgrounds and SO much food. it was awesome. we spent the whole morning there just hanging out and then we went to dj's baseball games. it was awesome because dj got them into the championship game and everyone ran around him like cheering for him and they gave him the game ball .. so cool ! he was so excited. it was pretty intense because it was a really close game. then i dropped erin and liam off and pick up keri and went back to see dj's next game with her.
after the game i brought keri home and met up with erin and liam at the diner for a little bit and we went for a walk around the ponds. then i went to kristen's with deej. we were afraid it might be weird because no one else from the cast was going but it ended up being fine! her cousin had a bunch of his friends over and they were all nice. and two of them were AMAZING at beer pong. and me and dj almost beat them- like we had them the whole game but couldn't get the last cup and they got us on that one. so lame.
so then sunday morning i went to mass with the skinners and it was incredible. i loved it. it was sooooo much different than our church and it was just .. woah. i really enjoyed it so much. and i wish i could go there every week! maybe i flipping will. i wish erin and lee had come because i feel like they would've loved it too but. it's okay maybe next time.
right after church i left for vermont and was up there until wednesday night. it was alright i guess. kinda boring since it was just us who went up and it rained the whole time. we went on the quad and shopped for a full day in middlebury and i read through two stupid novels and ended up not getting in the water - even though it was really high. i just couldn't wait to get home even though i love it up there. i just didn't want to spend my last week before school without everyone at home.
then yesterday i woke up really early and went to atlantic city with the skinners and that was so fun! we spent the wholeeeee day on the beach and in the water. it was so awesome even though we got wreckedddd by the waves. then we spent the night on the boardwalk. it was so niceeeee. i love them! i got soooo burned though. my whole body except the front of my legs and my stomach are literally lobster red. so lame =[ and it hurts! and i sprained my stupid ankle but i have no idea how. it's okay though- definitely worth it.
um, today i didn't get much of anything done. i tried to go get a new phone because mine is broken but i didn't know my mom's social so i freaking couldn't. maybe tomorrow! um, mikey came over tonight with a pizza at like 10pm- so bad for you hah. so then dj came over and we [plus keri and ryan] all watched a movie.
so that's pretty much it..i'm still not ready to leave for school. haven't packed anything or done any shopping and i leave in like five days. not good- don't care. =[
ugh!
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[
Aug 8 2008 ♥ 11:41am] |
so.. not last night, but the night before, i hung out with mary and andra. i haven't seen either of them in forever! i missed them, it was cute. we sat in the shoprite parking lot eating gummie worms and talking like old times. haha gay! i caught up with them and we hung out for a while then we went to this lake by my house, well sort of. it was really dark and buggy so we didn't make it fully there =P then we went to burger king and ate so much. it was actually disgusting haha but it was nice seeing them again.
then yesterday i went to the movies with dj. he is so sweet! we saw step brothers and it was so freaking funny. i mean not like fall-off-your-seat-dying-funny, but it was definitely good. and dj's laugh is hysterical and he was laughing the whole time so i think that made it even better. i think he's just a really nice kid.
after i dropped him home i went back to the house to find keri and ashley looking very bored and lonely. their plans for the night had been cancelled. so we decided to have a girls night and ... we got a bit crazy. it started off fine. we ate some cookiedough which is so good until it makes your stomach hurt. keri was having kyle issues so she even had some icecream - typical.
we decided we would go dick mikey's car for saran wrapping mine >[ ha, it was cute though. he wrote me a bunch of letters. and keri and ash helped me clean it all off. so we go to his house at 1am and dick his car, nicely of course though. then we went to burger king ... again. obviously i'm contributing to the obesity rate from fast food in america. ugh. haha we just got a BUNCH of onion rings though. then we went back to the house.
so keri wanted to have what she called an "al-kie picnic" haha. so we all sat on a blanket downstairs with onion rings on our paper plates, soda cans, shot glasses, and one beer each. we made a deal that we couldn't eat or have the beer until we were at least four shots in. so we started off playing a game, but after the first three shots we said fuck it and just started pounding them back because we wanted the freaking onion rings! after about seven or eight straight shots ... let me tell you how amazing the beer and those onion rings tasted.
we ended up being way too loud to be inside and didn't want to wake up my dad so we went for a walk around the block, beer in hand, and in nothing but bras and shorts. pretty attractive if you ask me. OH and this is of course after calling way too many people. we left dj a nice voicemail, which he thanked us for this morning. and we woke poor liam up, but he was a wonderful sport. called michael too...he got mad. bleh
so it was an interesting night. i was tanked and getting up at 8am this morning was really fun. i'm still waiting to talk to michael, pretty sure i'm going to get my head bitten off. ugh.
anyway, i think i should go read. i've been putting off this book for college and the essay i'm supposed to write because i think i'm totally still in denial. so not good. =[
i think i might actually run first...i'm probably so ridiculously out of shape it's not funny. i haven't done ANYTHING basically all year. dance doesn't even count.
...unno.
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[
Aug 5 2008 ♥ 11:06pm] |
so i've sort of been obsessed with liam lately.
today i did basically nothing. i opened up a new bank account and got a credit card and a debit card for school. then i went shopping with my mom for some dorm stuff and then we went to fucking wendy's. once we got home, i went to pick up the kids at camp and visit liam. then i came home and cleaned my room, showered, and met back up with lee.
we spent about one hour in the christian living store which half made me feel good about myself but half made me feel shitty reading all the books on the way we should be living our lives. ick. then we went to friday's and it was kind of like a date because we sat on the same [booth] side of the table. thought that was funny. and fried bananas are disgusting ... who would even put them on a sandwich?
well whatever. but that was my very eventful day.
i'm really worried about leaving for school..i don't want to leave. especially not liam. even dj is making me feel so sad about leaving. ahhh. it's going to be so awful!
and i'm getting SO fed up with this steady increase, it's going to have to be altered.
i found this new song i liked...
thanks to lee.
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[
Aug 5 2008 ♥ 9:47am] |
last night. what the hell can i say about last night. shit.
well, i ended up going to the drive in with the skinners and liam. it was okay except we didn't really focus on the movie because of talking and moving around and trying to get situated and volume control and bugs and lack of space and all these ridiculous things. so we'll go back and see it again, but by the end we had caught on and dark night seemed pretty legit.
we left after the first movie and dropped liam off because he had camp in the morning and then we went to bugerking and played around the park for a little bit at 12am =P then i dropped dj and fe off and went home.
when i got home everyone but keri was already asleep so keri and i decided to sneak back out being that we were both actually home together! so we went to see ryan and bryan at ry's house. and we hung out there for a little bit and it was really nice to see them again. i haven't seen them in forever!
then keri and i left and made a pointless trip to walmart which we realized after arriving. if nothing else, it killed time before we had to go home. however, when we walked back to the car i went to open the car doors and when i looked up keri had disappeared. i walked to the other side of the car and she is lying on the ground just looking around as some leaf blower guy walks RIGHT past her and just looks at us....IDIOT. so i got her up and into the car.
that was the deciding factor of not returning yet so we headed to dunkindonuts, where the creepy guy inside hit on me and made me feel totally uncomfortable but keri insisted on staying inside..awkwarddd. so she was on the ground again as i came back with her donuts so i got her up and she ate one donut and then we seriously needed to get out of there so i told keri to go sit in the car because i had to clean the table. i felt so bad it was 4am and obviously it was us who had made the mess. so i cleaned it and she walked outside.
as i'm walking out to meet her i see keri fumbling with the door and a statie drive up to her and my car asking if she was okay. my heart dropped. i quickly walked over as keri, completely ignoring the cop talking to her, was trying to get into the passengers seat through the driver side door. my coffee and her other donut were spilled and crumbled all on the floor. and he asked me "is she alright? i saw her fall, she's not driving is she?" and i said "oh i'm sure she's fine, she's not old enough to drive. thank you so much though" and tried to walk away but he asked me again and then said "what are you girls doing out so late anyway, where do you live?" and i told him we lived right up the street and that she was fine and thank you for asking and blahblah and he let us go after some cute talking.
she is a complete moron. but she is a whole lot of fun. we got home a little later and i helped her upstairs and she just passed out in my bed fully clothed. so lucky me got kicked to the bottom of my own bed. LAME! but anyway. it was a pretty crazy night but what else are sisters for?!
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[
Aug 4 2008 ♥ 11:32am] |
i'm pretty upset. yesterday was our last show of the summer. i'm going to miss it so much! reading liam's entry about it made me almost cry. i miss it already. i'm so gay! i don't care. it was so much fun, i just hope the cast stays close this year. i feel like everyone seriously bonded so much more this summer and i don't know why. we had SUCH a nice cast. hopefully...cross your fingers.
after the show we had strike, which actually wasn't that bad. i was captain of costumes and we finished in like ten minutes! then we had the cast party, which was cute. i ate sooo much! there was a ridiculous amount of food, but it was all so good. we just hung out for like hours. then we had a cake for felicia and just so many other desserts. unfortunately, because i had eaten so much before that, i couldn't really participate in all of those. oh well.
my cousins came to see the show and i was so happy to see them. i haven't seen them in forever and it was just nice. dan go soooo tall! it's crazy. i might be staying with them the night before i move into my dorm just so that i can get there fast and get the bed and space that i want you know? they live about 15 minutes from my school i think so, that's good in case i ever get ridiculously homesick during the three days i'll be there =P
last night while i was talking to lee, i realized .. i'm so not ready to go to school. and it's so soon. i have nothing packed, nothing done, haven't thought about it! i'm still in denial and now it's literally days away. i'm so scared. i do not want to go! aiogjairjg ugh. i just want to stay and do this summer forever... how cute would that be?! ha i wouldn't even care if we had to do the show every weekend for the rest of our lives. well maybe.
but i still haven't figure out how i'm going to tell my parents i'm going to denver over labor day..and my mom just this morning gave me the speech about how even though i'm in college i still need to call and let them know where i am. like if i'm going to the beach for the weekend or if i'm going to my roommates for break. ugh. yeah so hey mom..not a week into college and i'm already going to see michael! she'll love it. she'll actually kill me...i need to think of something.
i just don't want to go. it's going to be awful.
...to college i mean.
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[
Aug 2 2008 ♥ 12:39pm] |
um, yesterday we had another show. the crowd was awesome! everyone laughed at everything they should have and even more. the kids were really into it too so it was pretty cool.
after the show we went to nina's cast party which was cute, but i ended up not staying for very long. i left with the skinners and cory. only to find out that i had locked my keys in my car...sober?! wtf. i managed to not do it at cory's which was quite the opposite...retardddd. meh.
so my daddy came to bring me a spare key and cory waited with me for a while. then we went to the gas stations and i saw hilel who i havent seen in forever. he's so sweet. so yeah, i talked to him for a tiny bit. then went home.
i was going to go see imax batman with lee today but that didn't work out so maybe sometime this week if it rains. i mean i'm not glad it didn't work out, but it makes everything a lot more relaxed because i would've either been in a HUGE rush once we got home or had to have worried about my hair staying all day before we went. so.
tonight we have another show and then i think kristen is having a party except if you drink you have to sleep over but we have another show tomorrow and it's a matinee so i don't know how that is going to work out.
"up two" as liam told me i used to say. i'm sort of mad. i mean i guess i should be because when you're two digits people look at you kinda creepy when you tell them, but one hundred is just so annoying. because michael has been on my ass about it so much lately, i've been thinking about it a lot more and it's been getting to me. which i totally shouldn't be letting it. ocd. you know.
anyway! can't wait to see my cousins tomorrow =] they're coming up for the show. so excited, but i'm sad it's the last one..is that really gay of me?
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